00:00:00:02 - 00:00:10:15
Speaker 2
Hello my friends, I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've recorded this episode, because it's been a lot. It's been approximately two months since I last uploaded onto here.

00:00:10:16 - 00:00:14:06
Speaker 1
And there are a couple of good reasons.

00:00:14:06 - 00:00:23:02
Speaker 2
Why that's happening. Number one, I am not. I'm not liking my face.

00:00:23:04 - 00:00:25:14
Speaker 1
And I don't know why that is.

00:00:25:16 - 00:00:36:08
Speaker 2
There's nothing that's changed about my face. I think maybe it's the camera angle. Maybe I'm finally thinking that I need to put on makeup and do my hair.

00:00:36:08 - 00:00:38:14
Speaker 1
For these episodes, but I'm not.

00:00:38:14 - 00:00:43:23
Speaker 2
Liking the way that my face looks, and it's made it really hard to sit down and want to record.

00:00:43:23 - 00:00:46:06
Speaker 1
A video. And I was actually thinking.

00:00:46:06 - 00:00:58:07
Speaker 2
I'm just going to record something audio and forget about the video because I don't want to be on here. But at the same time, I don't want to do that. I don't want to not.

00:00:58:09 - 00:01:00:23
Speaker 1
Be so comfortable with myself that I have to.

00:01:00:23 - 00:01:05:07
Speaker 2
Avoid the video completely. So I'm not doing that. So here we are. Number two.

00:01:05:08 - 00:01:10:19
Speaker 1
Is I have been really sick of how everything.

00:01:10:19 - 00:01:15:09
Speaker 2
In my life revolved around food and revolved around my.

00:01:15:09 - 00:01:17:16
Speaker 1
Weight, like food coaching.

00:01:17:16 - 00:01:19:12
Speaker 2
Nutrition coaching, and I.

00:01:19:12 - 00:01:22:15
Speaker 1
Always thought that I had to show up.

00:01:22:15 - 00:01:23:19
Speaker 2
Differently in order.

00:01:23:19 - 00:01:27:05
Speaker 1
To succeed. So I have this story.

00:01:27:05 - 00:01:31:23
Speaker 2
That I tell myself that I need to be skinnier in order for me to be an.

00:01:31:23 - 00:01:34:13
Speaker 1
Effective coach, because.

00:01:34:14 - 00:01:36:03
Speaker 2
Everybody wants to be skinny.

00:01:36:03 - 00:01:36:17
Speaker 1
This is this.

00:01:36:17 - 00:01:41:05
Speaker 2
And this is just a story that I'm telling myself. Everyone wants to be skinny. No one wants to be.

00:01:41:05 - 00:01:41:16
Speaker 1
Coached.

00:01:41:16 - 00:01:44:12
Speaker 2
By someone that is not.

00:01:44:12 - 00:01:45:20
Speaker 1
Their goal.

00:01:45:22 - 00:02:00:16
Speaker 2
Kind of thing. But I know that my experience has been valuable, and I have a lot of education in this field, and I know that since I,

00:02:00:18 - 00:02:05:08
Speaker 1
Still on the struggle bus with this kind of.

00:02:05:08 - 00:02:17:07
Speaker 2
Thing that I am in the trenches with you guys, like, I am working on this all of the time. I'm still struggling with it. I'm still trying to improve. I'm not struggling with my eating.

00:02:17:07 - 00:02:18:11
Speaker 1
Disorder.

00:02:18:13 - 00:02:19:09
Speaker 2
Anymore.

00:02:19:14 - 00:02:20:04
Speaker 1
With like.

00:02:20:04 - 00:02:23:23
Speaker 2
Overeating, bingeing or like guilty shame.

00:02:23:23 - 00:02:24:17
Speaker 1
Thoughts.

00:02:24:19 - 00:02:39:09
Speaker 2
I'm struggling with. I'm not even really struggling with my weight. Like I'm okay with my weight. My weight right now is 151 pounds. I'm okay with that number. It doesn't bother me. I just want to be.

00:02:39:09 - 00:02:40:04
Speaker 1
A little bit.

00:02:40:04 - 00:02:40:19
Speaker 2
Skinnier.

00:02:40:19 - 00:02:43:17
Speaker 1
Like I want to lose a little bit of fat.

00:02:43:19 - 00:02:46:21
Speaker 2
And for some reason like.

00:02:46:21 - 00:02:49:05
Speaker 1
That, it's probably like.

00:02:49:05 - 00:02:51:00
Speaker 2
5 pounds of fat that I want to.

00:02:51:00 - 00:02:54:21
Speaker 1
Lose. That weight is making me feel.

00:02:54:21 - 00:02:56:01
Speaker 2
Like I'm not going to be an.

00:02:56:01 - 00:02:58:03
Speaker 1
Effective coach, which.

00:02:58:05 - 00:03:03:18
Speaker 2
When I say it out loud and hopefully when you're hearing this, you can tell that that is a.

00:03:03:18 - 00:03:05:08
Speaker 1
Ridiculous thought. I still have.

00:03:05:08 - 00:03:06:09
Speaker 2
All the knowledge, I.

00:03:06:09 - 00:03:08:08
Speaker 1
Still have all of this.

00:03:08:08 - 00:03:14:23
Speaker 2
Experience. I've been a personal trainer. I've been working out for ten plus years. I've been cooking food.

00:03:14:23 - 00:03:15:18
Speaker 1
For.

00:03:15:20 - 00:03:26:19
Speaker 2
My whole life, pretty much. I'm so familiar with macros and recipes and kitchen and spices and everything. Almost everything. Food.

00:03:26:21 - 00:03:30:02
Speaker 1
I've realized actually, I've kind of always.

00:03:30:02 - 00:03:30:23
Speaker 2
Known that.

00:03:30:23 - 00:03:33:00
Speaker 1
It is.

00:03:33:02 - 00:03:35:19
Speaker 2
A shame for me to not talk about my.

00:03:35:19 - 00:03:38:22
Speaker 1
Expertise. I was just really sick of the fact.

00:03:38:22 - 00:03:41:18
Speaker 2
That everything I did had to revolve around food, and I was just.

00:03:41:18 - 00:03:43:19
Speaker 1
Tired of food.

00:03:43:21 - 00:03:51:21
Speaker 2
This summer. I just didn't want to talk about it for a little bit.

00:03:51:23 - 00:03:53:14
Speaker 1
But you probably have heard of.

00:03:53:14 - 00:04:00:04
Speaker 2
Logan's food blowing up on social media, Instagram and TikTok. He's the one that's telling you you need to eat.

00:04:00:04 - 00:04:03:01
Speaker 1
A whole cucumber a day, or sometimes you just have to eat a whole.

00:04:03:01 - 00:04:05:07
Speaker 2
Cucumber. And I.

00:04:05:11 - 00:04:06:05
Speaker 1
Love.

00:04:06:05 - 00:04:08:10
Speaker 2
Logan because, number one.

00:04:08:11 - 00:04:09:01
Speaker 1
He's.

00:04:09:01 - 00:04:09:15
Speaker 2
Showing.

00:04:09:15 - 00:04:12:12
Speaker 1
Up so authentically.

00:04:12:14 - 00:04:13:14
Speaker 2
It's not.

00:04:13:16 - 00:04:18:03
Speaker 1
You know, he's he doesn't have this crazy shut up. He is just.

00:04:18:03 - 00:04:21:23
Speaker 2
Slicing cucumbers into a deli container.

00:04:21:23 - 00:04:24:00
Speaker 1
He's shaking it up. It's really raw.

00:04:24:03 - 00:04:26:17
Speaker 2
He's not manufacturing it in any way.

00:04:26:17 - 00:04:27:21
Speaker 1
It doesn't seem like he is.

00:04:28:03 - 00:04:29:07
Speaker 2
Anyways.

00:04:29:09 - 00:04:30:16
Speaker 1
He is.

00:04:30:16 - 00:04:37:12
Speaker 2
Giving me permission and for me to show up in my messy middle.

00:04:37:14 - 00:04:41:13
Speaker 1
Because I kind of I talk about showing up.

00:04:41:13 - 00:04:44:09
Speaker 2
For the messy middle, and I do show up in the messy middle a.

00:04:44:09 - 00:04:47:05
Speaker 1
Lot. However, this summer I kind of felt.

00:04:47:05 - 00:04:51:01
Speaker 2
Like I was in the messy middle and it wasn't ready to talk about it. I just wanted.

00:04:51:01 - 00:04:52:07
Speaker 1
To be.

00:04:52:07 - 00:04:53:03
Speaker 2
In it.

00:04:53:05 - 00:04:54:06
Speaker 1
Move past it.

00:04:54:06 - 00:04:57:06
Speaker 2
And talk about it from the from the.

00:04:57:06 - 00:04:59:05
Speaker 1
Healed perspective, if you will.

00:04:59:11 - 00:05:03:18
Speaker 2
Although I am not healed, I just didn't want.

00:05:03:18 - 00:05:04:22
Speaker 1
To show up.

00:05:05:00 - 00:05:08:21
Speaker 2
In the messy middle. However, I know.

00:05:09:02 - 00:05:10:01
Speaker 1
That that is where all.

00:05:10:01 - 00:05:11:15
Speaker 2
The work is done right. You have.

00:05:11:15 - 00:05:12:10
Speaker 1
To show up.

00:05:12:16 - 00:05:13:08
Speaker 2
In that messy.

00:05:13:08 - 00:05:14:10
Speaker 1
Middle, do the.

00:05:14:10 - 00:05:29:14
Speaker 2
Work, and grow from there. You can't ignore the problem. Ignoring the problem doesn't heal. The problem doesn't solve the problem. It just ignores the problem. The problem is still there. So I've been working on healing the problem. The only thing is I haven't been talking about it.

00:05:29:19 - 00:05:31:00
Speaker 1
With you guys.

00:05:31:02 - 00:05:35:03
Speaker 2
And I've just been quiet on my own because I really did not have the.

00:05:35:03 - 00:05:38:06
Speaker 1
Capacity to share.

00:05:38:08 - 00:05:39:12
Speaker 2
And I was just.

00:05:39:12 - 00:05:39:23
Speaker 1
I just kept.

00:05:39:23 - 00:05:46:22
Speaker 2
Telling myself that I needed to be better. I needed to look better. I needed to make better food. I needed to present it better. I needed.

00:05:46:22 - 00:05:48:21
Speaker 1
To just do.

00:05:48:21 - 00:05:57:04
Speaker 2
Everything better than I was already doing, and I needed to produce better YouTube videos. I needed to look better because I'm sick of my face. For some reason.

00:05:57:05 - 00:05:59:04
Speaker 1
I'm I was just like, I just was.

00:05:59:04 - 00:06:09:15
Speaker 2
So sick of myself and all of the stories I had for myself. I just needed time, and I just needed a little bit of space, and I just needed to.

00:06:09:17 - 00:06:11:10
Speaker 1
Be myself.

00:06:11:12 - 00:06:12:14
Speaker 2
In all of my messy.

00:06:12:14 - 00:06:14:06
Speaker 1
Glory.

00:06:14:08 - 00:06:19:13
Speaker 2
Especially since I was moving and I moved. I moved into my new.

00:06:19:13 - 00:06:20:18
Speaker 1
House at.

00:06:21:00 - 00:06:27:03
Speaker 2
The beginning of June, and so everything was just cluttered and my mind was cluttered. I didn't have.

00:06:27:03 - 00:06:28:01
Speaker 1
Space.

00:06:28:03 - 00:06:37:03
Speaker 2
To do anything because I was just thinking about all of the clutter and all of the decluttering that I had to do. So now I'm finally at a space where you know the.

00:06:37:03 - 00:06:39:10
Speaker 1
Space is mostly clean.

00:06:39:10 - 00:06:39:22
Speaker 2
I can.

00:06:39:22 - 00:06:41:06
Speaker 1
Operate.

00:06:41:08 - 00:06:52:18
Speaker 2
In this space now, and my mind is not so much more jumbled anymore. Everything has just kind of settled. The dust is all settled. I'm okay with myself again. My house.

00:06:52:18 - 00:06:52:22
Speaker 1
Is.

00:06:52:22 - 00:06:57:06
Speaker 2
Okay. It's no longer in shambles. I mean, it is still messy.

00:06:57:06 - 00:07:00:09
Speaker 1
I'll give you that. But it's not.

00:07:00:11 - 00:07:04:01
Speaker 2
Top of mind anymore. Like I can deal with this. And now I.

00:07:04:01 - 00:07:11:05
Speaker 1
Have the capacity to deal with other things as well. And also, the second thing that I really love about.

00:07:11:05 - 00:07:15:13
Speaker 2
Logan is that he is normalizing MSG. And if you don't know, I'm.

00:07:15:13 - 00:07:16:14
Speaker 1
Perfectly okay.

00:07:16:14 - 00:07:20:02
Speaker 2
With MSG. I don't demonize MSG in any way.

00:07:20:07 - 00:07:21:07
Speaker 1
Of course, people.

00:07:21:07 - 00:07:22:20
Speaker 2
Are going to be allergic to.

00:07:22:20 - 00:07:26:01
Speaker 1
MSG and have sensitivities and.

00:07:26:04 - 00:07:28:06
Speaker 2
That's all individual, but MSG.

00:07:28:07 - 00:07:29:04
Speaker 1
As a whole.

00:07:29:04 - 00:07:30:16
Speaker 2
In general does not make you.

00:07:30:16 - 00:07:31:15
Speaker 1
Feel sick.

00:07:31:20 - 00:07:34:00
Speaker 2
It doesn't affect you in a negative manner.

00:07:34:02 - 00:07:34:23
Speaker 1
It's a very.

00:07:34:23 - 00:07:38:03
Speaker 2
Simple salt molecule combined with a glutamate.

00:07:38:03 - 00:07:38:20
Speaker 1
Molecule.

00:07:38:23 - 00:07:40:03
Speaker 2
Which is an amino acid.

00:07:40:08 - 00:07:44:10
Speaker 1
So they it's a very natural substance.

00:07:44:10 - 00:07:52:15
Speaker 2
It occurs naturally in things like parmesan and anchovies. Tomatoes have a bunch of MSG. That's why tomatoes.

00:07:52:15 - 00:07:54:04
Speaker 1
Are so, so delicious.

00:07:54:09 - 00:07:56:05
Speaker 2
Sun dried tomatoes.

00:07:56:07 - 00:07:57:16
Speaker 1
Are basically a little.

00:07:57:16 - 00:08:00:15
Speaker 2
Bit of concentrated MSG. That's why sun dried tomatoes.

00:08:00:20 - 00:08:01:04
Speaker 1
Taste.

00:08:01:04 - 00:08:07:12
Speaker 2
So much better than regular tomatoes, because all the water is gone. It's MSG, okay? And I.

00:08:07:12 - 00:08:09:03
Speaker 1
Love how Logan.

00:08:09:04 - 00:08:11:14
Speaker 2
Is normalizing MSG.

00:08:11:15 - 00:08:13:06
Speaker 1
Because the hate.

00:08:13:06 - 00:08:13:23
Speaker 2
For MSG.

00:08:14:01 - 00:08:16:08
Speaker 1
Started off as a racism.

00:08:16:10 - 00:08:16:20
Speaker 2
Thing.

00:08:17:01 - 00:08:27:05
Speaker 1
Where people would say Chinese food was bad for you. All of that msg is bad for you, right? But if we think about it like we.

00:08:27:05 - 00:08:29:05
Speaker 2
Demonize.

00:08:29:07 - 00:08:31:12
Speaker 1
We as a.

00:08:31:13 - 00:08:35:21
Speaker 2
North American Western society demonize cultural.

00:08:35:21 - 00:08:40:09
Speaker 1
Food until we until some white.

00:08:40:09 - 00:08:43:16
Speaker 2
Person rediscovers it and finds a way to make it.

00:08:43:16 - 00:08:47:04
Speaker 1
Healthy, like, I think avocado was.

00:08:47:04 - 00:08:55:10
Speaker 2
One of those things. Coconut oil was one of those things.

00:08:55:12 - 00:09:07:11
Speaker 2
There's so many other things that I cannot think of right now. Like organ meats. We demonize it until someone rediscovers it and like, oh, did you know that organ meat is mostly protein and very little fat?

00:09:07:13 - 00:09:09:19
Speaker 1
Like, yeah, we did.

00:09:09:21 - 00:09:13:20
Speaker 2
Everyone did. And, did, you know, like salsa?

00:09:13:20 - 00:09:14:18
Speaker 1
Why do I.

00:09:14:18 - 00:09:16:02
Speaker 2
Don't know if anybody even as a.

00:09:16:02 - 00:09:22:14
Speaker 1
Source of food. Did you know that salsa is basically just a vegetable salad? Like, it's so good for you. So why aren't.

00:09:22:14 - 00:09:24:04
Speaker 2
We eating more of that? Like.

00:09:24:06 - 00:09:33:21
Speaker 1
I think people think of salsa as a bad snacky.

00:09:33:23 - 00:09:34:15
Speaker 1
Bad food.

00:09:34:15 - 00:09:35:03
Speaker 2
I don't even.

00:09:35:03 - 00:09:45:20
Speaker 1
Know what to call it, but salsa is literally vegetables. Like, who said who's that? That's bad for you? You know.

00:09:45:22 - 00:09:47:21
Speaker 2
Collard greens are something that.

00:09:47:21 - 00:09:51:21
Speaker 1
Gets hate, but coloring it's vegetable oils, you know? So I.

00:09:52:21 - 00:09:53:15
Speaker 1
Like, as.

00:09:53:21 - 00:09:58:21
Speaker 2
An ethnic person that eats a lot of ethnic food.

00:09:58:23 - 00:10:01:12
Speaker 1
And I've had people look at.

00:10:01:12 - 00:10:04:01
Speaker 2
Me strangely when I brought lunch to.

00:10:04:01 - 00:10:06:18
Speaker 1
School as a little girl.

00:10:06:20 - 00:10:08:22
Speaker 2
Because they didn't understand my food.

00:10:08:22 - 00:10:09:23
Speaker 1
Or because it looked.

00:10:09:23 - 00:10:12:08
Speaker 2
Funny.

00:10:12:10 - 00:10:16:03
Speaker 1
I'm just this is a conversation.

00:10:16:05 - 00:10:18:12
Speaker 2
This is a conversation that I.

00:10:18:14 - 00:10:23:10
Speaker 1
Just so, so ready to have. Like, why do we keep.

00:10:23:10 - 00:10:24:05
Speaker 2
Demonizing.

00:10:24:05 - 00:10:27:06
Speaker 1
Cultural food just because.

00:10:27:08 - 00:10:29:10
Speaker 2
A certain population is not okay with.

00:10:29:10 - 00:10:37:01
Speaker 1
It? I love food, honestly, I, I love food.

00:10:37:03 - 00:10:41:18
Speaker 2
I'm really trying not to say stop say I'm really trying to stop saying the word honestly.

00:10:41:18 - 00:10:43:07
Speaker 1
Because people say.

00:10:43:07 - 00:10:47:03
Speaker 2
That when you say the word honestly, it implies that you're lying.

00:10:47:05 - 00:10:47:23
Speaker 1
The rest of the.

00:10:47:23 - 00:10:53:16
Speaker 2
Time. And I'm not lying, but I'm just trying to say it for emphasis.

00:10:53:18 - 00:11:01:05
Speaker 1
I am sick of people rediscovering culture of food.

00:11:01:07 - 00:11:06:05
Speaker 2
And blowing up because of it. And I'm.

00:11:06:05 - 00:11:08:03
Speaker 1
Really glad Logan.

00:11:08:03 - 00:11:13:03
Speaker 2
Is normalizing MSG, and I'm wondering if it just had to be a white person.

00:11:13:05 - 00:11:16:00
Speaker 1
To for for other white people to.

00:11:16:00 - 00:11:19:03
Speaker 2
Listen to him. I'm just.

00:11:19:05 - 00:11:20:05
Speaker 1
That's just.

00:11:20:07 - 00:11:20:17
Speaker 2
You know.

00:11:20:22 - 00:11:24:03
Speaker 1
Okay. Anyways, so.

00:11:24:05 - 00:11:25:07
Speaker 2
I'm feeling okay.

00:11:25:07 - 00:11:30:21
Speaker 1
About this episode. I'm happily going to post it. I'm not going to edit it.

00:11:32:06 - 00:11:33:16
Speaker 1
Because that's just.

00:11:33:16 - 00:11:51:02
Speaker 2
Going to create another barrier for me in order for and it's going to prevent me from showing up. So these next couple of weeks, you guys are going to get it really raw. I'm not going to edit anything. You're going to get this straight to end and that's that.

00:11:51:03 - 00:11:51:16
Speaker 1
And it's.

00:11:51:20 - 00:11:52:12
Speaker 2
Going to.

00:11:52:12 - 00:11:55:03
Speaker 1
Be a stream of consciousness.

00:11:55:08 - 00:12:00:16
Speaker 2
Consciousness pretty much. And I hope you enjoy.

00:12:00:18 - 00:12:08:11
Speaker 1
I really missed having this platform and. I promise.

00:12:08:13 - 00:12:10:07
Speaker 2
Promise, promise, promise.

00:12:10:09 - 00:12:15:03
Speaker 1
That I will be back next week. Thank you. And we'll talk soon.