Tina's Arena

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Speaker 1
Hi everyone.

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Speaker 2
Welcome back to another.

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Speaker 1
Episode.

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Speaker 2
Of Tinas Arena. In light.

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Speaker 1
Of casualness.

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Speaker 2
And not being so.

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Speaker 1
Heavy all of the time, let's just tell a story.

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Speaker 2
Today I am taking a.

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Speaker 1
Speaking course called Ultra Speaking.

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Speaker 2
And I'm really enjoying it.

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Speaker 1
It is.

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Speaker 2
Improving my.

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Speaker 1
Speaking skills a lot I think, but only in the context of the course. Outside of the course, I'm still struggling.

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Speaker 2
But I am learning to be more.

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Speaker 1
Confident with myself, express myself.

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Speaker 2
Hold opinions.

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Speaker 1
Like the whole point of taking the course.

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Speaker 2
I believe I am improving on, and I started.

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Speaker 1
Taking the course.

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Speaker 2
In April, so it's only been a few months and I am.

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Speaker 1
Definitely noticing that I.

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Speaker 2
Am becoming.

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Speaker 1
More confident as a speaker.

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Speaker 2
And as a person.

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Speaker 1
And this is the story of my favorite book.

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Speaker 1
This was a couple of years ago. At this point, I just broke.

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Speaker 2
Up with my then fiance.

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Speaker 1
We had been struggling for a while. I feel like a year or two, depending on who you ask,

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Speaker 2
And I.

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Speaker 1
Was faced with the.

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Speaker 2
Decision of.

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Speaker 1
Whether I would keep.

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Speaker 2
Trying to save.

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Speaker 1
This relationship or save myself because I had.

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Speaker 2
Been giving myself.

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Speaker 1
Two entirely to this.

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Speaker 2
Relationship, and I was drained.

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Speaker 1
I was tired, I was lost, I was fighting, we were fighting, there were issues.

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Speaker 2
And in the end I.

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Speaker 1
Had to decide that I had no more resource to give towards to this relationship and I had to break up with him. So I chose to save myself.

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Speaker 2
And as you can imagine.

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Speaker 1
I was.

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Speaker 2
In shambles.

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Speaker 1
I fell into a depression.

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Speaker 2
Which I think is a given, that I fell into a depression at that point, and I.

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Speaker 1
Actually started to lose weight for the first time.

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Speaker 2
In my life without trying.

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Speaker 2
I could not eat.

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Speaker 1
And if you're here, you're.

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Speaker 2
Listening to me. You know that in my past.

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Speaker 1
I struggled with overeating.

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Speaker 2
Binge eating all of the eating things. I could not stop eating. But in this instance.

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Speaker 1
For the very first time.

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Speaker 2
In my life, I could not eat.

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Speaker 2
And I started.

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Speaker 1
To lose weight and I was low energy, I was depressed.

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Speaker 2
I didn't know what to do.

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Speaker 1
With myself, I was lost.

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Speaker 2
I lived in a house.

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Speaker 1
A big house, by myself. Things were just way too quiet around me.

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Speaker 2
And so one of the things that I do when I am.

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Speaker 1
Bored or just want to.

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Speaker 2
Scroll something but call something useful.

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Speaker 1
I scroll through.

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Speaker 2
Facebook events and I see what's happening in around the city, what my friends are doing because it recommends events to you. And I'm scrolling through the events and I.

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Speaker 1
See a book club for a book called It's.

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Speaker 2
Never Too Late to Begin Again.

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Speaker 2
By Julia Cameron I've never.

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Speaker 1
Heard of this book club before. I've never heard of the lady that ran the book club before.

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Speaker 2
And I'd.

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Speaker 1
Never heard of Julia Cameron.

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Speaker 2
And I've never heard of It's Never Too Late to Begin Again.

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Speaker 1
But when I saw that title.

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Speaker 2
I knew that it was for me. And so I emailed.

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Speaker 1
The book club leader. I asked, how do I join?

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Speaker 2
I e-transfer her the money and I waited for that day to come.

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Speaker 1
I am a procrastinator, of course.

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Speaker 2
So I did not buy the book in advance.

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Speaker 1
I was late for the very first book club.

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Speaker 2
Meeting because.

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Speaker 1
I had to.

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Speaker 2
Go run and buy.

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Speaker 1
The book.

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Speaker 1
And when I bought the book, the subtitle for the book was something about Retirees.

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Speaker 2
It's never too late to begin again how to Find yourself again as a new.

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Speaker 1
Retiree. Clearly, I.

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Speaker 2
Am not of.

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Speaker 1
Regular retirement.

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Speaker 2
Age.

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Speaker 1
And I suddenly was conflicted because I bought the book. I already signed up for the book club.

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Speaker 2
It's happening now and I'm on my way there.

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Speaker 1
Like this isn't for me, but do I go anyways.

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Speaker 2
And.

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Speaker 1
See what happens?

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Speaker 2
And I'm so.

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Speaker 1
Glad that I did. I walked.

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Speaker 2
Into.

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Speaker 1
That book club half the age of the other.

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Speaker 2
Ladies in there, but they welcomed me and.

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Speaker 1
They said, you're sure? No problem.

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Speaker 2
Sit down. Join us. Not a big.

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Speaker 1
Thing. So we did.

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Speaker 2
Our introductions and I told them my.

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Speaker 1
Story.

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Speaker 2
I told them what just happened.

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Speaker 1
It was probably quite fresh.

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Speaker 2
I think when I joined the.

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Speaker 1
Book club a.

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Speaker 2
Couple of months into.

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Speaker 1
My breakup, and I really felt like I was starting all over.

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Speaker 2
Again, like I defined.

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Speaker 1
Myself by that.

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Speaker 2
Relationship. And now I wasn't in that relationship anymore.

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Speaker 1
And so who was I? So I was really.

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Speaker 2
Looking to find myself again.

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Speaker 1
And these ladies held my hand.

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Speaker 2
Welcomed me into the.

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Speaker 1
Group, and together as a group, we went through the book.

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Speaker 2
It's an eight week program.

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Speaker 1
That gives.

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Speaker 2
You prompts and.

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Speaker 1
Ideas.

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Speaker 2
And things to think.

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Speaker 1
About. It calls you out on your shit. It really does and it helps you grow. And it is so.

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Speaker 2
Amazing.

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Speaker 1
That I got to do it with these older ladies, because they had so much more life.

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Speaker 2
Experience than I did.

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Speaker 1
And I got to see life through a different set of eyes.

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Speaker 2
And my favorite.

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Speaker 1
Part about the.

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Speaker 2
Book, It's Never Too Late to Begin Again, which.

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Speaker 1
I like over the regular version of this book. The Artist's Way is that the this version gets you to.

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Speaker 2
Write a memoir.

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Speaker 1
So you reflect back on your life, and these ladies shared their life story with me, which I thought was so magical because you get to learn from people so quickly, so deeply. And there were incredible stories.

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Speaker 2
Coming from these women as well.

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Speaker 1
It showed.

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Speaker 2
Me that no matter.

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Speaker 1
What our age, we still can struggle with similar.

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Speaker 2
Things. If we do not.

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Speaker 1
Heal these issues and grow past them. People are still.

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Speaker 2
Struggling with confidence.

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Speaker 1
With learning how to love themselves.

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Speaker 2
With listening to their inner voice. It's a constant.

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Speaker 1
Struggle.

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Speaker 2
And.

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Speaker 1
It showed.

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Speaker 2
Me that I'm not wrong. I'm not broken.

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Speaker 1
Because I struggle with this. It is, in fact, a part of life.

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Speaker 2
And something.

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Speaker 1
That a lot of people struggle with.

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Speaker 2
And it was just magical.

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Speaker 1
To go through that experience with people.

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Speaker 2
That I never.

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Speaker 1
Knew before.

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Speaker 2
Didn't know anything.

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Speaker 1
About me.

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Speaker 2
And.

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Speaker 1
Just.

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Speaker 2
Bond with them on such a.

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Speaker 1
Deep level. And because they were older.

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Speaker 2
There was none of that.

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Speaker 1
Superficial stuff.

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Speaker 2
Like they didn't care.

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Speaker 1
About money or like materialistic.

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Speaker 2
Things.

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Speaker 1
Like that. They were.

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Speaker 2
Talking about time spent with family emotions.

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Speaker 1
Creativity.

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Speaker 2
Like the magic within.

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Speaker 1
Ourselves. It was really a transformative.

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Speaker 2
Moment.

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Speaker 1
Or. Course, I guess you could call it in my life. It taught me a lot of.

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Speaker 2
Patience and.

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Speaker 1
Gratitude.

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Speaker 2
And I am so.

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Speaker 1
Grateful for those ladies sharing.

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Speaker 2
That moment with me and allowing me into.

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Speaker 1
Their circle.

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Speaker 2
And giving me.

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Speaker 1
The space to be myself.

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Speaker 2
And to learn about myself. They did call me an old soul, so I fit in quite easily.

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Speaker 1
I think. And it taught me that.

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Speaker 2
I think the magical moments in life don't happen in isolation.

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Speaker 1
Or solidarity.

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Speaker 2
Magical moments happen when you can share them with.

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Speaker 1
People at.

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Speaker 2
Pain, misery.

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Speaker 1
Depression.

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Speaker 2
Doubt.

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Speaker 1
I had all of those things, but also sharing the success.

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Speaker 2
Sharing magical moments, sharing in.

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Speaker 2
Sharing all.

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Speaker 1
Of the things like I don't think we are.

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Speaker 2
Winning.

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Speaker 1
In life if we are.

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Speaker 2
Alone.

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Speaker 1
So.

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Speaker 1
I'm really grateful for myself.

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Speaker 2
For putting myself into.

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Speaker 1
These very odd, weird situations.

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Speaker 2
And just.

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Speaker 1
Doing things that get.

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Speaker 2
Me out of my comfort zone, push my boundaries as a person.

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Speaker 1
And continue to push myself to grow. I grew.

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Speaker 2
Up in a.

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Speaker 1
Very small.

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Speaker 2
Container.

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Speaker 1
Of like, this is who you are. You need to be our good daughter.

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Speaker 2
And I fit into that.

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Speaker 1
Pretty well.

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Speaker 2
Until I couldn't anymore, until my identity.

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Speaker 1
Was just.

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Speaker 2
Non-existent.

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Speaker 1
And I had no idea who I was. So I started to rebel and try to discover who it was.

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Speaker 2
I was pushing those boundaries. I was pushing those boundaries and.

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Speaker 1
It's really, really scary. As someone.

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Speaker 2
Who.

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Speaker 1
Grew up really, really sheltered, who wasn't really taught how to be a confident.

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Speaker 2
Person.

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Speaker 1
Who, didn't have friends, like I was very sheltered. I have a big.

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Speaker 2
Family, but I'm there's a difference in age between me and my family, and I wasn't.

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Speaker 1
Allowed to go out, so my family all went out without me. So I like, very, very sheltered.

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Speaker 2
And I didn't even.

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Speaker 1
Know that there was a world out there to explore, because I just thought that that wasn't for me. So, like, my entire adult life has been about unraveling this mediocre childhood existence that I had and.

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Speaker 2
Trying to.

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Speaker 1
Live a full life.

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Speaker 2
And.

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Speaker 1
Just live like, have.

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Speaker 2
Fun.

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Speaker 1
Be playful. Like I don't get playing. Really. I'm not a playful.

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Speaker 2
Person, I don't think.

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Speaker 1
And so that's what this podcast, in this journey of my life has been about. It's about.

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Speaker 2
Connection and learning how.

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Speaker 1
To play because those were.

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Speaker 2
Two things.

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Speaker 1
That I lacked severely.

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Speaker 2
In my.

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Speaker 1
Childhood. So I am grateful for myself.

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Speaker 2
For continuing to push the lines.

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Speaker 1
And learn who I.

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Speaker 2
Am.

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Speaker 1
And discover that there is more to life and learn how to play.

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Speaker 2
And I'm grateful.

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Speaker 1
For these ladies for accepting me into their circle.

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Speaker 2
And teaching me.

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Speaker 1
What life is really about. And I'm grateful to life itself for this journey because.

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Speaker 2
I'm learning and.

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Speaker 1
As I get older, like, I become more and more fulfilled as I continue to grow and discover myself. Like when I was younger, I used to be depressed. I had I thought.

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Speaker 2
There was no point to life. I didn't understand.

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Speaker 1
Life at all. I it was.

00:13:04:21 - 00:13:05:23
Speaker 2
Pointless to me.

00:13:05:23 - 00:13:10:04
Speaker 2
But now I'm finally understanding it all, starting to.

00:13:10:04 - 00:13:12:14
Speaker 1
Unravel it all.

00:13:12:16 - 00:13:13:20
Speaker 2
And sharing a.

00:13:13:20 - 00:13:22:08
Speaker 1
Part of that process here with you. So. Hello, and thank you for listening.

00:13:22:10 - 00:13:25:21
Speaker 2
To this episode of Tina's Arena. If you enjoyed.

00:13:25:21 - 00:13:27:01
Speaker 1
The story aspect.

00:13:27:01 - 00:13:29:23
Speaker 2
Let me know.

00:13:30:01 - 00:13:35:20
Speaker 1
And maybe I'll have more stories to share. Bye. See you next week.