00:00:00:00 - 00:00:25:23
Speaker 1
Hello. Hi. Welcome to another episode of Tina's Arena, the podcast where I share stories about my life and growth journey with food, myself, my feelings, my thoughts, and we go through it together. Who needs therapy when you can just talk to a camera and get feedback from strangers?

00:00:26:00 - 00:00:49:11
Speaker 1
I'm joking. Go to therapy. I did, I did. I've gone to a lot of therapy. Okay. Okay, cool. So this week I wanted to talk about personal stories and a personal story that I've been resonating with a lot lately is that I grew up as a very lonely, isolated child.

00:00:49:11 - 00:00:57:13
Speaker 1
You might have got it in last week's episode where I said it, I said, oh, I grew up a very isolated child. Like, I'm not normal.

00:00:57:13 - 00:01:00:13
Speaker 1
I just I don't remember having a childhood.

00:01:00:13 - 00:01:21:01
Speaker 1
I've been holding on to this story, I think, a little bit too much lately. Giving myself an excuse to hold myself back, to feel discomfort and misery.

00:01:21:01 - 00:01:58:15
Speaker 1
Like allowing myself to be in that funk. As in of course I feel like this. I had a shitty childhood. Of course I'm struggling with this. Nobody taught me how to deal with this before. Of course this is difficult. This is the first time I'm experiencing this. Of course I struggled in my previous relationships. I didn't grow up with a couple to look forward to.

00:01:58:15 - 00:02:35:13
Speaker 1
Towards two or up to to look up to. And I. Have been brewing in that nonsense of these excuses that I've been giving myself a little bit too much lately. I did take some time off, and that was very much needed for me to regroup myself. It was a lot this summer.

00:02:35:15 - 00:03:11:07
Speaker 1
But at the same time, I'm again at that point where I'm like, I have just been giving myself too much grace. I am just sick of me and being in this story of, of course, I'm miserable. I have all of the reasons to be miserable, but. I don't want to be miserable. So I have to let that part of me go.

00:03:11:07 - 00:03:18:05
Speaker 1
I have to stop using that part of me as an excuse.

00:03:18:05 - 00:03:31:09
Speaker 1
it might not be my fault that I grew up this way, but it's now my responsibility. I have nobody else to blame anymore for the situation that I am currently in, except for myself.

00:03:31:10 - 00:03:49:04
Speaker 1
If something has happened to me. It might be because I allowed that situation to occur. If I am unable to respond appropriately to certain situations or my feelings or something, it's because I haven't given myself enough space to process.

00:03:49:04 - 00:04:14:05
Speaker 1
Even if something is not my fault, it is now also my responsibility to deal with and to move forward from and to grow. So I'm calling myself out on the bullshit that I have been festering in lately, and. Wanted to do it on camera.

00:04:14:05 - 00:04:42:12
Speaker 1
So if you guys catch me in the future doing more of the same. Call me out on it. And actually, if you see me in a story that I don't even realize that I'm in, I would love for you to tell me. And but the thing about that is that if I don't know that that's my story, I'm probably going to give you a little bit of attitude and be like, no, you're wrong.

00:04:42:14 - 00:05:13:02
Speaker 1
But. You know, maybe a sliver of that will enter into my brain and start to create that little crack in the foundation that is my rock solid belief system, that I am not enough. And, you know, if you could crack that foundation a little bit, I would really appreciate that. I've been trying to crack it myself so much.

00:05:13:08 - 00:05:44:08
Speaker 1
So, so much you don't even understand. And I'm getting there. I'm still working on it. And the work for me is just to ignore it and continue to move forward. So I guess that this is just a quick little episode this week, but I just I just started noticing that I was really telling myself this same story over and over all of the time.

00:05:44:11 - 00:06:15:06
Speaker 1
Of course, I'm struggling with this. Nobody taught me how to do this and that. Using that sentence puts the blame on someone else. Nobody taught me how. Are you kidding? I'm 35 years old. I need to teach myself how I have people I can ask, I have courses I can take, I have books I can read, I have podcasts I can listen to.

00:06:15:08 - 00:06:36:09
Speaker 1
There is absolutely no reason for me to be telling myself that. Nobody taught me this. If I am struggling with something, it is my responsibility to help myself.

00:06:36:11 - 00:06:50:12
Speaker 1
That's it. A quick one this week so again, if you like me, if you like my podcast, if you like my ramblings, please share it. Please subscribe. I'm here and I will see you next week.