00:00:00:00 - 00:00:22:08
Speaker 2
Welcome to another episode of Tina, Zarina. Today is a very special episode for me. I have my very first guest, who is my good friend, Kristy Simons. Kristy Simons is a teacher, and she has lately been transitioning into work as a coach, helping teens become more confident. And I don't know how else to describe it. How would you just describe it?

00:00:22:08 - 00:00:23:00
Speaker 2
Kristy.

00:00:23:00 - 00:00:26:02
Speaker 1
thank you, by the way, for having me. I'm so excited to be here.

00:00:26:02 - 00:00:36:14
Speaker 1
I was a teacher for 12 plus years at the French Catholic Board here in Windsor, Essex, and I moved full time into confidence and life coaching for teens.

00:00:36:14 - 00:01:13:11
Speaker 1
So essentially what I do is I still help because I do have that educational background. I have been a support for families to help their teens navigate the complexities of, high school and graduation and getting all their credits. But then also the life aspect of that and all of the challenges that come their way. And, you know, parents often say to me that it's really like that emotional regulation piece that they're noticing is, where they need the most support because they're just not sure how to help them through that.

00:01:13:12 - 00:01:25:06
Speaker 1
I really do take a holistic perspective when I work with all of my clients, because all of their needs are so individual. And yeah, the journey to confidence is one

00:01:25:06 - 00:01:32:06
Speaker 1
that I started walking, I would say like four plus years ago, and I'm still currently on that path today.

00:01:32:07 - 00:01:44:10
Speaker 1
I can just really see how my own personal experience with confidence and how we can cultivate it and continue to grow that muscle each and every day, like that is a part of who I am, too.

00:01:44:10 - 00:01:50:09
Speaker 1
I feel like that really makes for a great connection. So it's a little bit about me and what I do.

00:01:50:11 - 00:01:54:06
Speaker 2
Thank you. Okay, so I guess first question is what does confidence mean?

00:01:54:06 - 00:02:20:09
Speaker 1
Oh, I love this question. It's a question that I ask on my podcast. So it's very, very fun to be on the other side of that. So confidence I think what I used to believe confidence wise, because I don't actually ever think that I really sat and thought about my thoughts, but I would say that my teen self believed that confidence meant just like this feeling.

00:02:20:09 - 00:02:46:22
Speaker 1
This feeling of being confident in. Some people have it and some people don't. What I know now after, you know, starting my four plus year journey and now working with teens to help them cultivate it is that it's not so much of feeling, but rather like this willingness to actually want to try to try something new that's going to challenge you, that's going to help you step out of your comfort zone.

00:02:46:23 - 00:03:16:12
Speaker 1
Because when we do that, we feel more empowered and we feel more confident because you're essentially just gaining more competence or more mastery in a certain skill or goal that you have set for yourself. And so over time, as you continue to practice and grow that muscle, your confidence will grow as well. So I also, though, in saying that I believe that is it is so much more complex than even that.

00:03:16:12 - 00:03:38:10
Speaker 1
And I think that's really where my work has been focused the last little while is noticing, like how everything is so connected. And I was saying this to you before we jumped on this call, especially in like in terms of the fact that you work with like nutrition and food. I feel like that's a huge part of it as well.

00:03:38:10 - 00:03:57:08
Speaker 1
So if a parent comes to me and they need support and they want their teen to feel more confident because that's generally what they will ask for, I feel like it just right off the bat. I wish I could tell them that it just goes so much deeper than just that feeling in that mental shift of just feeling confident.

00:03:57:10 - 00:04:19:13
Speaker 1
It it comes down to to like the things that you are putting in your body, the habits that you have for yourself, the foundation that you have set really, truly before you even start to build and take action towards the goals and things that you have for yourself, you have to feel good in your physical vessel. I feel like before you can take on external challenges and obstacles.

00:04:19:15 - 00:04:29:13
Speaker 1
And so yeah, I've been trying to really unpack that lately because those are some realizations that came to me, and I'm not sure what you think about that. I'm curious your thoughts. Actually.

00:04:29:15 - 00:04:53:08
Speaker 2
I agree that you have to feel good in your body in order to start feeling like you can take on more. and I think that's where confidence begins. So I actually wanted to ask you, how did you kind of realize that it was the confidence piece that you were missing, and how did you start to work on that when you didn't know that that was the thing, like before you knew what to work on?

00:04:53:08 - 00:04:56:15
Speaker 2
How did you make that realization and start there?

00:04:56:17 - 00:05:19:19
Speaker 1
So that's the thing. I realized this like later along my journey. I never realized at the beginning that that's what it actually was. Do you know? Do you know what I'm saying? Or is that what your question was like in the beginning, not knowing. So what happened for me was when I had my first born in 2020, that was like my first major, major shift.

00:05:19:19 - 00:05:42:02
Speaker 1
So motherhood is what completely made me do like a 180 and, the life that I was living before, full of toxic patterns and just completely like abandoning myself. Essentially, I did a shift and started to slowly go on this journey of taking better care of myself and just trying to show up in the best ways that I possibly could, changing my habits.

00:05:42:04 - 00:06:09:00
Speaker 1
and all the things. By the time I had my daughter in 2022, I feel like what had started as a more like health, fitness and nutrition journey had then started to go like a little bit deeper. And I was starting to do like the inner work, working on things like emotional regulation, learning new ways of even, I don't know, talking about my feelings and how I am feeling, how I desire to feel.

00:06:09:02 - 00:06:33:05
Speaker 1
I didn't know what any of that meant, like having a vision. What are my dreams? I had no idea. And so yeah, I what I came to notice along the way is, of course, once my physical body felt better, I started to feel more confident and it was almost like little breadcrumbs were being laid all along the way.

00:06:33:07 - 00:06:51:05
Speaker 1
So the more like I would do something, I would practice it and I felt like I'd mastered it, like running, for example, I started running, started doing that like four years later. Now I'm running a full marathon. Not because I think that I'm going to be the best full marathon runner. Like I'm actually terrified. It makes me feel like I want to vomit.

00:06:51:05 - 00:07:11:20
Speaker 1
I'm hoping I finish before they pick me up at the last second. but regardless, like, I'm going to do it because I am that confident that I know that I can do it and finish that. Like, that's it. Just do it and finish. but yeah, really, truly, I feel like it's just the person that you become along the journey.

00:07:11:20 - 00:07:28:03
Speaker 1
And that's where your confidence grows. And it it's just a muscle that you have to continue to grow. But the more that you show up and do things for yourself that make you feel better and allow you to feel better, the more you're going to want to try to do more things that make you feel better. And then you start to ask yourself, like, how good can this actually get?

00:07:28:05 - 00:07:41:13
Speaker 1
But it's about starting somewhere. And then when you're met with resistance in between just knowing how to like, shift your energy so that you can get back on track and continue.

00:07:41:15 - 00:08:00:19
Speaker 2
I guess that was my question. Like, how did you initially develop the confidence? And it sounds like kind of making yourself do things that you feel are really hard, but it kind of feels like you can kind of get there and then building the discipline over time of just continually showing up for yourself.

00:08:00:21 - 00:08:30:21
Speaker 1
Yeah. And I don't believe because my story, I would say in some way, like I used to describe it as, I had like a breakdown to a breakthrough. So like motherhood really shifting and catapulting me into like this new identity. But I don't believe that everybody has to have a breakdown to a breakthrough in order for them to start creating, like those small shifts that will ultimately, ultimately create like big changes in their life and bring about like more opportunities and more possibilities for them.

00:08:30:23 - 00:09:00:08
Speaker 1
I feel like just by listening to some of the stories, like if you really start to connect with other people and you listen to their stories, especially people that inspire you, you start to realize that like, this is this is work and this is stuff that anybody can do in order to feel their best. so really, I would say honestly, once I felt that shift and I knew I was committed, the first thing that I did was just like anchor into my why.

00:09:00:08 - 00:09:30:17
Speaker 1
So the reason why I wanted to continue to show up, to do this, to feel better, because especially in the beginning, that's where I remember being met with, like the most resistance, especially because I had like a newborn baby who was like the last thing that I wanted to do was to, like, breastfeed him, essentially all night in the middle of the night and then get up and go for like a morning walk or run to start, like doing things for myself again and taking care of myself and focusing on my health and, you know, just drinking more water and sleeping more even.

00:09:30:19 - 00:09:33:03
Speaker 1
yeah. So many, so many things.

00:09:33:05 - 00:09:51:09
Speaker 2
And technically, at that point in of your life, that was the beginning of your journey, right? So the you didn't have all of these, all of this proof that you could show up for yourself before this was like a whole new thing, kind of stepping into something completely new that you haven't done before.

00:09:51:11 - 00:10:21:11
Speaker 1
Yes, exactly. And also I feel like because and I mean, I have so much compassion for who I was before I became a mom, my teen self, my in my 20s self. But she definitely had a pattern of disappointing herself. And so I think what may have happened is when I became a mom for the first time, I did not want that pattern to keep repeating itself.

00:10:21:13 - 00:10:44:22
Speaker 1
I did not want to show up as that version of myself for the tiny human that I had created. and so yeah, ultimately it meant changing and changing has been incredibly uncomfortable. And I'm even I'm just going to say it like, frickin really hard at times. Yeah. But also, like, so incredibly worth it.

00:10:45:00 - 00:10:49:19
Speaker 2
I agree, change is definitely extremely, extremely uncomfortable.

00:10:51:01 - 00:10:59:23
Speaker 2
I know you asked this question on your podcast and I'm excited to ask it to you. Is there anything that you want to tell your teen self?

00:11:00:01 - 00:11:24:06
Speaker 1
Oh yeah. If you could speak to your teen self, this question, this question that I ask all my listeners, I'm always saying that this answer could change, like day to day. If you ask this question like one day it could be something completely different, the next day if you were to ask it. And in this moment, it would just be to start now and not wait to start your journey.

00:11:24:08 - 00:11:47:18
Speaker 1
And then I recognize, though, in saying that, that if I were to go back and actually put myself in my teen self's shoes, she would have no idea everything. Like, she doesn't, she wouldn't have had all the all of the knowledge that I have now, nor like the skills, the tools, all of the things, the community that I surround myself with, like the people like I also feel like, you know, your vibe is your tribe.

00:11:47:18 - 00:12:07:00
Speaker 1
And I really do surround myself with people that are going to help me to want to challenge myself, to feel more confident. So I feel like it's definitely important to have accountability and support. But yeah, it would just be to start now and don't worry about, you know, the obstacles and those challenges that will come along the way.

00:12:07:00 - 00:12:26:13
Speaker 1
Like those are the most important parts of the journey, because in those moments and those experiences, you're going to learn so many lessons and then you get to grow and like feel that joy on the other side and you become really proud of yourself. And then you start to feel like that deep love for yourself and deep self-trust.

00:12:26:13 - 00:12:36:13
Speaker 1
And yeah, I feel like literally, this is the whole point of life is to go on this journey and just see how good it can get.

00:12:36:15 - 00:12:39:16
Speaker 2
I agree and share it along the way.

00:12:39:18 - 00:12:49:00
Speaker 1
Yeah. And sharing meaningful conversations and just being vulnerable because we're all going along our own journey.

00:12:49:02 - 00:12:55:21
Speaker 2
And and they're all so similar. Right. Yes. Like we always will suffer. So similarly.

00:12:56:16 - 00:13:02:06
Speaker 2
So how does running fit into all of this for you.

00:13:02:08 - 00:13:28:05
Speaker 1
Interesting question. I'm glad you asked me that one today because that one's going to make me think a little bit. Running has running has evolved for me over the past four years too. Interestingly enough when I first started running back after I had my son in 2020, it was also the pandemic and all the things that we're not going to go down that road.

00:13:28:05 - 00:13:46:18
Speaker 1
But it was it was just a really challenging time. We were also building a house at that time. And so because of the pandemic, our house and the build kind of got pushed back, like we're talking like months. So it ended up being like over a year that we had to live with my parents with a newborn baby.

00:13:46:18 - 00:14:12:13
Speaker 1
And it was just it was an interesting time. And so running really in that time, just because of everything that I was experiencing that was so new. I feel like it became like one of those like mental outlets for me. It just allowed me that space and time to be just with myself. And I just really found it to be an awesome way to move my energy around.

00:14:12:13 - 00:14:35:18
Speaker 1
Like some mornings I would go for five K, other mornings it might like just be to like it was. It was always different. Like I was never out there. It never felt forced I guess is what I'm trying to say. Like I still to this day at 5:00 Am when my alarm goes off. I mean, there's some mornings where I'm a little bit tired, but often, like, I'm excited to get out there and just to go have that time for myself just because it's a habit that I've created that just really stuck.

00:14:35:18 - 00:15:08:03
Speaker 1
So I encourage my clients to like it doesn't mean that running is going to be it for them, but I'm I'm 100% convinced that everybody has like something or like a few things that they can feel this way about that also makes them feel incredible. And so what really, I feel like I used for like my mental health more so in the beginning now has just become like something that I just honestly love to do.

00:15:08:05 - 00:15:45:19
Speaker 1
Like, I just, I just love running. I don't feel like I need it for anything anymore. I just, I just love it. So I do it. I don't know that I'm going to love running 40km, which is, I think, a full marathon. Maybe it's 42. It might be two over 40. Yeah. Isn't it perfect? but yeah, I think again, it's just it's the person that I become along the journey of having to prepare for something like that, or even just the person that I am because of the fact that I wake up in the morning like, because of the fact that I prioritize my sleep, and then I get up in the morning and

00:15:45:19 - 00:16:06:15
Speaker 1
I get fresh air right away. I try to stay like off of my device if I can. Sometimes that doesn't happen, but if I can and I just get outside, go for either that walk or that run. But I'm telling you, just by doing this and then having like a big glass of water when I get back, my days always start off like on the best foot.

00:16:06:17 - 00:16:09:22
Speaker 1
Always. Yeah it's amazing.

00:16:09:22 - 00:16:29:18
Speaker 2
Physical movement is something that I try to get all my clients into. because it is a keystone habit, which means that once you start prioritizing exercise, just like you said, if you're forced to wake up at 5 a.m. every morning, it forces you to prioritize the rest of your schedule. So now you have to wake up at five.

00:16:29:22 - 00:16:55:17
Speaker 2
So then you're going to prioritize going to bed earlier so that you're able to wake up at five, and then you chug a big glass of water and you feel like you've accomplished something during your day. So the rest of your day just goes a little bit better. It's also a way to get out of your head and into your body and kind of just forget all of the things that you're thinking about, and it's just a huge reset.

00:16:55:17 - 00:17:18:20
Speaker 2
And so I love that you talked about now that now you love it so much, and it's just something that you do. And I think that's so important, like you said, that everyone has something that they're going to love. Right. And it doesn't matter what it is, it's just that you have to find that thing that drives you and makes you just want to do more of, because we all need to move our bodies.

00:17:18:20 - 00:17:25:03
Speaker 2
It's just a part of human life. It's something that we have to do in order to feel good.

00:17:25:05 - 00:17:46:05
Speaker 1
Yeah. And in saying that, honestly, I feel like the confidence comes from keeping the promise to yourself to keep doing and showing up for the thing that you love and not allowing anything else to try and like, hold you back or change your mind or you away like that little voice in your head that's like, no, you're too tired.

00:17:46:05 - 00:18:00:06
Speaker 1
Stay in bed. You're like, no, no, no, not today. Because I know how good I'm going to feel on the other side of this if I do it. And again, rest days are still fine, but I feel like you kind of know when that voice is like, you're like, no, I actually thought I really wanted to go, but maybe no.

00:18:00:11 - 00:18:04:16
Speaker 1
Then listen to your gut and go, go do the thing for you. But you left.

00:18:04:18 - 00:18:15:20
Speaker 2
Exactly. It's your own feelings. It's your own thought that is kind of holding you back. So you have to know it's a dance, right? Knowing when to listen to it and when to not.

00:18:15:22 - 00:18:34:00
Speaker 1
Yeah. And I've had this conversation. My goodness, I don't even know if we want to go down this lane. But I've had this conversation with so many people on so many podcasts lately about the like thinking about what you think about. And had I known that when I was a teenager, like, what a difference it could have made.

00:18:34:00 - 00:18:55:10
Speaker 1
But then you start thinking about what you think about and yeah, it can almost become like too complex and you overcomplicate things. So yeah. Yeah, it's just about knowing. It's just about knowing yourself. And I feel like just connecting with your intuition, that gut feeling like, you know, or the energy that you feel you can connect with that.

00:18:55:10 - 00:19:16:06
Speaker 2
This is another thing that I tell my clients as well. Like, you know, everything it is that you need to be doing most of the time, like you already know in your heart. And it's just that you're not listening to yourself. And it's that daily practice of not listening to yourself and not keeping the little promises you make that erode your confidence.

00:19:16:06 - 00:19:27:12
Speaker 2
Right? So the more that you are not living in alignment with what you believe to be right, the more you're going to feel bad about it and yourself.

00:19:27:14 - 00:19:52:03
Speaker 1
And so what I misunderstood as a teen and even like a younger adult and I'm saying like in my 20s is that I think that I thought in terms of like my health, my confidence, my self-worth, my, I don't know my, my job, my friendships, my relationships, like everything, I think that I thought that like in all those areas of my life,

00:19:52:03 - 00:19:57:08
Speaker 1
all I needed was like this quick fix in order for it to get better and fix.

00:19:57:10 - 00:20:01:23
Speaker 1
What I didn't realize is that all of these

00:20:01:23 - 00:20:27:01
Speaker 1
moments excuse me, separate areas like outside of me, they are literally all connected, and all I had to do was do the inner work in order for all of them to start to, like, fill themselves up essentially, and for them to all start changing as well. So yeah, I guess confidence is a journey.

00:20:27:01 - 00:20:54:03
Speaker 1
Just like, you know, your health is a journey. Everything is a journey and it's something that just literally needs to be worked at every day. Small habits need to be put in place. You can pivot, you can shift, you can rest when you need to. But yeah, just constantly holding yourself accountable, writing down your goals and just allowing yourself that time to be present so that you can actually hear what it is that you truly desire and you truly want like that.

00:20:54:03 - 00:21:14:04
Speaker 1
That literally is the game changer. But you have to be committed to this. I feel like it's an investment for life. So that that is one thing that I completely misunderstood when I was younger. And now that I know that, yeah, I've, I've embraced the journey.

00:21:14:05 - 00:21:28:16
Speaker 2
Because it is a journey. I think that was a beautiful summary of the podcast episode so far. Thank you. So I guess I could ask next, what is it that you're working on next?

00:21:28:18 - 00:21:33:11
Speaker 1
Ooh, in terms of myself or in terms of my business, both.

00:21:33:11 - 00:21:36:03
Speaker 2
Start with yourself and then talk about your business.

00:21:36:05 - 00:22:03:22
Speaker 1
Oh, okay. So for myself, I am really working now on getting myself out into the community to meet with families and teens. I just hosted my first ever confidence workshop at the Lodge at Lakeshore. For anybody who listens to this podcast and is local, I hosted it with my friend Bushra. So we had, mindfulness and somatic practices.

00:22:03:22 - 00:22:27:07
Speaker 1
We kind of like blended those with like the mindset work that you can also do. And yeah, it was a really big success and it was a lot of fun. So we're actually thinking about hosting some more, of those. So I feel like for me in terms of like personal like that has really like stretched, stretched me because I've really been.

00:22:27:09 - 00:22:50:06
Speaker 1
Yeah, like stepping into, like that leadership role in the community in terms of, like somebody who is. Yeah. Here to help support teens, cultivate confidence. It's just it's really, really exciting. It's something that I'm so passionate about. And I feel like being able to step into that next version of myself has been, really, really incredible since the start of the new year.

00:22:50:06 - 00:23:08:20
Speaker 1
I also have, been working one on one with clients. And so in terms of my business, I feel now it's kind of moving in the direction where I can see an actual community starting to form as I'm starting to be like at capacity.

00:23:08:20 - 00:23:10:07
Speaker 1
So I'm trying to figure out,

00:23:10:07 - 00:23:24:07
Speaker 1
a space so that I can connect with more people. and also still work one on one with clients for those that. Yeah, that need the support. So I guess that's what's going on with me. And then the full marathon, of course, that I'm running. So just training for that.

00:23:24:09 - 00:23:30:20
Speaker 1
That's coming October of 2024. So yeah, looking forward to all those those things.

00:23:30:22 - 00:23:35:12
Speaker 2
I just had a flashback deja vu moment like this has happened before. It's so crazy.

00:23:35:14 - 00:23:42:13
Speaker 1
Like, oh, I love when that happens. Can you pinpoint like exactly what it is? It's so hard. I can never do it.

00:23:42:15 - 00:23:53:12
Speaker 2
I just like this exact moment of talking to you and, like, looking at your, like, position on my screen and just what you said. This exact moment has happened before in my mind.

00:23:53:14 - 00:24:05:05
Speaker 1
But it's like, oh, yeah, I love that. You know, I'm gonna have to listen to this episode back then, sometime in the future and see if, like, anything, connects. Very cool.

00:24:05:07 - 00:24:10:05
Speaker 2
Okay, so what does it look like when you work with a client usually. How does that process go?

00:24:10:05 - 00:24:30:21
Speaker 1
what I do is I take them on a journey through either a three month or a six month container and it's either for the education and life coaching or it's just life coaching, or just like education, it's one or the other.

00:24:30:23 - 00:24:40:19
Speaker 1
so yeah, over the last like four years, I was specifically focused on helping teens who are struggling, to graduate from high school to get their credits.

00:24:40:19 - 00:24:44:16
Speaker 1
on taking them through my, Confident Teen program

00:24:44:16 - 00:24:55:21
Speaker 1
really the work that I do is taking them on a journey that starts with that pre-work that, like, lays the foundation for what confidence means to them,

00:24:55:21 - 00:25:14:00
Speaker 1
and understanding, like their physical and their energetic body and how when we can take care of it with confidence, we will ultimately, as I said, is a vessel that just feels more confident and better to actually be and to show up for the actions that we want to take in our life.

00:25:14:00 - 00:25:28:12
Speaker 1
I also have my own signature framework, which is the Mindful Mountain cycle. So helping them, as I said, to move through a challenge, to challenge their beliefs and their thoughts and yeah, just really get to them to connect with themselves in that safe space.

00:25:28:12 - 00:25:33:21
Speaker 1
And so that's kind of in a nutshell, the work that I do.

00:25:33:23 - 00:25:42:13
Speaker 2
I love that. And as you were talking, I was thinking through like how impactful that would have been on my life if I had you. I when I was a teen, too.

00:25:42:14 - 00:25:46:09
Speaker 1
Oh, thank you, thank you. So I love it. I do.

00:25:46:09 - 00:25:48:05
Speaker 2
where can people find you and reach you?

00:25:48:05 - 00:25:49:07
Speaker 1
I do have a podcast.

00:25:49:07 - 00:25:55:00
Speaker 1
it is Confident Teen and you can find it on Spotify or I also am on Apple,

00:25:55:00 - 00:26:23:05
Speaker 1
I'm probably most active on Instagram, so you can find me at Confident Teen Teacher over there, and I have a website Dot Christie. That's Christie Simons Simmons coaching.com. if you head on over there it's still kind of under construction. I'm not going to lie, but I do have my calendar, link up and available if ever you want to book a connection call.

00:26:23:08 - 00:26:24:22
Speaker 2
awesome. Thank you.